Couples Counseling

Are You Seeking Marriage or Relationship Counseling?

Has the ease and joy you once enjoyed in your relationship been replaced with avoidance, resentment and/or irritation? Perhaps unresolved feelings have built up and you don’t feel comfortable expressing yourself openly anymore. Or, maybe there has been an affair, and you doubt your ability to heal as a couple and rebuild trust. Have you been married or partnered for a while and notice that the precious time once reserved for your relationship is now allotted to work, children and other responsibilities? You might wonder if the relationship is really serving either of you, and you’re on the verge of giving up. Perhaps you’ve already made up your mind and are seeking objective guidance about how to separate amicably. Regardless of the stage your relationship is in, do you want to cultivate a better understanding of each other and trust in your ability to work through issues as a team?

Experiencing conflict, betrayal or feeling unsure about the future of your relationship can be a confusing and frustrating experience. Juggling the responsibilities of work, social activities and home is stressful enough. Add the stress of disconnection in your intimate relationship and your entire existence can start to feel hopeless. Uncertainty about the trajectory of your partnership may have you seeking the skills needed to connect with your partner and foster the love that drew you together.

All Couples Struggle With Something At Some Point In Their Relationship

If you’re struggling to connect and communicate effectively with your partner, you are not alone. Because we all have different personalities and ways of communicating, it’s completely normal for any two people to occasionally disagree, face challenges and become irritated with one another. And with our increasingly busy lives, financial stressors, parenting obligations and more, it’s easy for couples to get distracted and become overwhelmed.

It’s estimated that roughly 50 percent of married couples in the United States stay married. If you and your partner are going to be together for the long haul, it’s important to make your relationship the best it can be. Most struggling couples wait an average of six years before seeking out professional relationship help and often enter into therapy only when on the brink of break up. If you’re feeling alone, unloved, or unsure about your relationship, it’s best to be proactive and seek help. You deserve support, clarification and practical relationship advice. With the guidance of an experienced, empathic couple’s counselor, you and your partner can improve listening and communication techniques and build a strong foundation based on trust, respect and love moving forward.

Relationship Counseling Can Help You And Your Partner Communicate, Connect And Face Challenges As A Team

Couples therapy can help you and your partner learn how to hear each other in new, more effective ways. The valuable skills you learn in counseling can not only be used to improve your relationship with your spouse or partner, but also with your friends and family, and the relationship you have with yourself. Three Peaks Counseling offers you a safe space to develop the tools and techniques needed to understand to your emotions, express yourself honestly, address and process lingering pain, and create greater harmony in your relationship.

In relationship therapy sessions, we will explore a variety of issues and concerns. We may examine how you and your partner resolve conflicts, fight, avoid and talk to each other. With care, respect and appreciation, we’ll work toward you and your partner experiencing empathic understanding. Once two people feel heard and understood, the problems couples often face become more manageable. If there are warning signs that lead up to an argument, you can learn to recognize them, de-escalate and prevent harmful outbursts. We may also explore how past relationships with partners, family and friends shape your current discord and develop a new set of boundaries that feel comfortable and reasonable for you both. If one person is taking on most of the responsibilities or feeling undervalued, we can practice new, effective ways of communicating stress. By working together in a safe, supportive environment, you’ll start to notice that your partner isn’t acting avoidant or malicious for no reason—there are motivations for every behavior. In sessions, you’ll have the guidance needed to learn the language to describe your feelings and related actions, as well as develop the insight to better understand your partner’s experience.

At Three Peaks Counseling, we have several therapists who specialize in couple’s work. Collectively, we have over 30 years of experience and are trained in several couples counseling modalities, including EFT (emotionally focused therapy), CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), Prepare and Enrich, psychotherapy, mindfulness meditation and more. We’re also familiar with the Gottman method, and work to resolve what Gottman coined as The Four Horseman of The Apocalypse—a metaphor to identify elements that often lead to the end of a marriage. With compassionate, practical guidance and support, it’s possible to resolve problem areas, such as contempt, criticism, defensiveness and stonewalling, and implement new tools to improve connection. You can learn how to reduce friction, connect intimately again and create the fun, loving relationship you both want to come home to.

You still may have questions or concerns about relationship therapy…

I’m not even sure I want to stay with my partner.

At Three Peaks Counseling, we offer Discernment Counseling for couples who are unsure if staying together is the best option. In Discernment Counseling, you avoid starting half-hearted couples therapy with a mixed-agenda of one partner wanting to leave and the other wanting to stay. Here, you can receive acceptance and support for wherever you’re at, even if that means accepting ambivalence rather than trying to work around or overcome relationship challenges.

I don’t want to discuss our dirty laundry with a stranger.

When something has gone awry, it’s common to feel as though you are responsible and should take on the burden of fixing your relationship problems on your own. However, life is difficult, and there are times when we all truly need help. In confidential therapy sessions, you and your partner can gain the insight, tools and skills to resolve issues more quickly than if you were on your own. Professional guidance can help you both move past challenges. We are not here to judge. Rather, we are available to listen and provide you with options as you and your partner move toward being your best selves and getting your needs met.

If all couples experience bumps in the road, do we really need therapy?

No matter how big (or small) the problem or how long it has been going on, help is available. Resolving issues now—while they’re relatively small—can prevent them from becoming big, overwhelming deal breakers.

My partner won’t come to therapy.

It’s not uncommon for at least one partner to feel apprehensive about therapy. However, there is a good chance your partner is also feeling uneasy about your relationship. Given the opportunity, your partner may be willing to open up in a therapeutic, compassionate and controlled environment. You won’t know whether your partner will join you in counseling until you ask and gauge his or her level of commitment.

If he or she truly doesn’t want to come in, individual counseling is an option. If you’re feeling like something in life has gone awry, it probably has, and help and hope are available. In counseling, you can make positive changes in your relationship and personal wellbeing regardless of whether or not your partner wants to join you in counseling.

Either I or my partner has had an affair. Is there hope?

There’s no doubt about it-- an affair feels devastating. Whether you are the spouse who had the affair or you are the betrayed partner, the emotions feel overwhelming and it is often difficult to see how your relationship can heal. In fact, your old relationship is often over after an affair and, if you are to survive as a couple, a new, stronger relationship will need to be created in its place. Although this may be one of the most challenging times of your relationship, it is important to know that many relationships can be healed. In fact, exploring what went wrong and identifying the type of marriage you want to have moving forward can ultimately lead to a stronger, healthier and happier relationship than before the affair.

Premarital Counseling Services

If you and your partner are considering marriage, premarital counseling can help you understand what makes for a healthy marriage, especially if you’re worried about how differing values or cultural, religious, or familial beliefs will affect your relationship over time.

During our sessions together, we can discuss your varied beliefs, ways of handling finances and more, and you can learn how to bring care and stability to potential conflicts. With the right skills and understanding of what it takes to have a successful and healthy marriage, it’s possible to set yourself up for a satisfying, loving and long-lasting partnership.

Start Building A Better Relationship

If you have additional questions or concerns about couple’s therapy, we invite you to call (720) 425-1111 for a free consultation. Click on the links on the side of this page to learn more about our providers who specialize in Couple’s Counseling, Premarital Counseling and Discernment Counseling. If you know who you would like to work with, you are welcome to contact that counselor directly to schedule an appointment. Three Peaks Counseling offices are located in Thornton and Northglenn, Colorado.

Contact Us Today

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